5/23/11

Thank God for all I missed...

'cause it led me here to this!  I love the song This by Darius Rucker; if you are reading this directly from the blog you should be hearing to it now.  Every time I hear the lyrics I get tears in my eyes, because it is a perfect reminder of gratitude.  I instantly check myself and am reminded of the amazing life I am so lucky to be living everyday.  

Have things been perfect?  No!  Have I always gotten exactly what I wanted? No!  Have things been easy?  No! 

These are the parts (the crap) of life that are so easy to fixate on, but songs like these put my head in the right place...

Have I always gotten what I needed? Yes!  If I never get exactly what I want, will I be OK?  Yes!  Will the next place I go be exactly where I am supposed to be?  Yes!  Do I wake up every morning in a place better than I ever dreamed of being?  Yes! 

Your life is as amazing as you believe it to be, and if you dwell on the crap that didn't go just how you thought it should then you're missing it.  When you start to accept and embrace all of it, then you start to see that you are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be.  Maybe it's a sad, hard place to be right now, but I wholeheartedly believe that our peaks are far higher and longer than our valleys....from rock bottom you can go no where but up! Take a deep breath and remember - this too will be a memory soon.  

Darius Rucker's lyrics are so true... 
"I didn't understand it way back when
But sitting here right now it all makes perfect sense" 

This is so true for my relationship with my mother. We haven't always seen eye to eye.  As a teenager you know everything and your mom is the last person on earth who's opinion matters...that was definitely true for me.  As a young adult you blame all your problems on your parents...that was definitely true for me.  As a woman you vow to never become your mother....that was definitely true for me too.

I was right.  I don't constantly need her opinion, I won't make the same mistakes she made, and I won't become her! I thought I'd become my own person in spite of my mother's influence, but sitting here now it all makes perfect sense...my mother's influence is what made me who I am. 
She taught me how to think for myself, how to solve my own problems and how to become my own person. 

Today, on my mother's birthday, I have gratitude for my life, I have faith this is exactly where I'm supposed to be, and I have understanding of who helped me get here.  So again...

"Thank God for all I missed
cause it led me here to
This"

Happy Birthday to a wonderful mother and grandmother...and aunt!  
Thanks for leading me to this perfectly, imperfect life.