Magic Mike...or not so much!

Tonight for a rare girls' night out 4 friends & I decided to catch the 6:40 showing of Magic Mike. Now I know what you're thinking - "6:40 on a Tuesday - these bitches know how to party!" That's right we do! Do you want to know how badass we are?  
Had there been a matinee we probably would have gone to it....yeah, I said it! That's how we roll.

So anyway, Magic Mike is terrible. Like poke my eyes out with a crab & herpe infested pecker terrible. Just plain bad! Please don't ever go to it! Decide to do ANYTHING else. 

Here is a short list of things I'd rather do than watch that terrible movie again...
5. Challenge Channing Tatum to a naked dance-off to be aired during halftime of the Super Bowl, and critiqued by Simon Cowell.
4. Explain to my 10 year old son what "How pregnant did you get that girl's mouth last night?" means. Which was my favorite quote from the movie by the way...
3. Slaughter Herman, the baby pig who made a couple of weird appearances in the movie, with my bare hands while a group of kindergartners watch. 
2. Eat some ecstasy laced vomit off the floor...just like Herman did in the movie!
1. Encourage my daughter to become a stripper, or a hooker or worse - an actress who would want to be in a movie as terrible as Magic Mike.