Fall is like the beginning of the year for me. Probably because of all the years my work was on the same schedule as the school calendar. September 1st is like New Years Day...sans the snow, the cold and the miserable Spotted Cow hangover. This time every year as the days get shorter and the air gets cooler, I start amping up to make changes. I get psyched up about eating better, exercising more and spending wisely. I usually lose weight in the fall. I usually save money in the fall. But like most resolutions, I usually go back to my old shitty habits within a couple of months, and the cycle continues.
My yearly cycle is as regular as an old man's morning dump. Seriously...it's the same routine every year that's pretty much triggered by the same events. Normally, I get this itch at the end of summer and I get my shit together. I get feeling balanced, energized and motivated, and I do great until late October. The downward slide usually starts by eating too much Halloween candy, which sets off a carb binge until March. Probably because the nights are long and the short days are spent work, work, working at a job (or jobs) that almost never fullfil me. Then after my kids' March birthdays, as the weather gets nice and the days get longer, I shake myself awake from my depressive, sugar-induced coma. Typically, I have a couple stable months of discipline until the month of 12 birthdays (June) when I eat enough cake and rhubarb pie to kill a horse and drink enough vodka slush to kill every brain cell in this measly little mind of mine. Rock bottom generally comes right around my BFF Jamie's birthday in August...when I drink way too much and call some nurse anesthetist a tool or douche bag six or maybe, seven thousand times.
Are you a visual learner like me? Maybe this chart will be easier to follow...
With the last few night's temperatures and the back to school flyers in the mail, I'm starting to feel the itch. I want to workout and hang new photos. I want to take classes and organize my pantry. I want to give up sugar and soak up the late summer sun. I want to start fresh!
Wanna know the best part of this "new year"? I get to start completely fresh. I won't have anyone at the office depending on me or a child at home needing to be nurtured. The only person who can muddle up my plans or goof up my goals is...me.
Wow! With that revelation...I think I need a brownie.